You are reading Woe is horrible me… any old friends out there read this stuff?. You can leave a comment or trackback this post.
Posted on April 24th, 2008 by Mark.
Categories: My Life.
So I was sitting back, contemplating what an absolute disgrace I have been for the last… oh, I don’t know… decade or so. I’ve thought about the people that I used to hang with and how we had some great times. I’ve thought about how I’ve holed myself away, shutting out everybody that ever really mattered (with the exception of a chosen few… who simply refuse to give up on me). I don’t know what it’s all about, the why or even the how. I just know that I closed the door on the past and walked away. It wasn’t always this way. In younger days, I was the one going out of my way to make sure the “gang” stayed in touch (you all know it’s true). It meant something to me and it mattered. Now in the midrange of my thirties (if you correct that to “late”… I will hunt you down and kill you), I suppose I have a bit of an appreciation for how much time has passed and how so much has changed. What a total waste to let things go so far. The worst part, I probably don’t have the guts to get off my ass and to pick up a phone. I won’t call these people that mattered (one might be you), and in so many ways still do. I won’t reconnect. I guess I just don’t know how. Some sick part of me figures they likely don’t want to hear from me anyway. Stupid? Alright, I’ll grant you that… but it won’t change anything. How sad, is that? I might take the time to drop these folks an email… if I knew what their email addresses were. That’s benign, that’s safe… that’s so typically me. You see, it’s not that I don’t know that I suck, it’s that I seem powerless to change it!
So ye old friends, if this blog should ever find you… or ye should ever find this blog… do write. Have the guts to do what I do not. Say hello. I promise I’ll respond. I’m just not much of a “cold” caller. It would suck to realize at 40 that I still haven’t spoken to any of you… but it’s not beyond imagining. I don’t know, maybe I’ll get it together… maybe I’ll pull my head out of my ass… but then maybe I won’t.
I’m sending out the mental vibe. The signals are on the ether. You will look me up, you will find this blog, you will toss me a line. Ah, I feel so much better now… that’s a weight off my shoulders. Uhmmm hmmm. I average 10000 hits to this site a month… I know some of you bastards are READING… ok, well I don’t but MAYBE you are! *snicker*
Anyway, if you have been viewing this blog and you do see this, I miss a lot of you people and I just wanted to say it. Ah, how proactive… BUAHAHAH!
Peace.
2 comments.
Comment on April 27th, 2008.
I may not be posting but I am reading it my friend!
Comment on May 29th, 2008.
you are so stupid sometimes, and yes you are a loser! haha. sorry buy im your neice and i have to rag on you!
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