Comment on April 27th, 2008.
I may not be posting but I am reading it my friend!
Comment on May 29th, 2008.
you are so stupid sometimes, and yes you are a loser! haha. sorry buy im your neice and i have to rag on you!
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So I was sitting back, contemplating what an absolute disgrace I have been for the last… oh, I don’t know… decade or so. I’ve thought about the people that I used to hang with and how we had some great times. I’ve thought about how I’ve holed myself away, shutting out everybody that ever really mattered (with the exception of a chosen few… who simply refuse to give up on me). I don’t know what it’s all about, the why or even the how. I just know that I closed the door on the past and walked away. It wasn’t always this way. In younger days, I was the one going out of my way to make sure the “gang” stayed in touch (you all know it’s true). It meant something to me and it mattered. Now in the midrange of my thirties (if you correct that to “late”… I will hunt you down and kill you), I suppose I have a bit of an appreciation for how much time has passed and how so much has changed. What a total waste to let things go so far. The worst part, I probably don’t have the guts to get off my ass and to pick up a phone. I won’t call these people that mattered (one might be you), and in so many ways still do. I won’t reconnect. I guess I just don’t know how. Some sick part of me figures they likely don’t want to hear from me anyway. Stupid? Alright, I’ll grant you that… but it won’t change anything. How sad, is that? I might take the time to drop these folks an email… if I knew what their email addresses were. That’s benign, that’s safe… that’s so typically me. You see, it’s not that I don’t know that I suck, it’s that I seem powerless to change it!