What is there to say about Black Friday? It’s a terrible day every year, wherein the most desperate of people wander around like a swarm of locusts devouring cheap merchandise. I find the whole thing extremely distasteful – and with reason. Year after year, Black Friday greets us with images of the worst of humanity – and this year is no different. A woman tearing a VEGETABLE STEAMER out of a child’s hands at a Walmart is by far the most illustrative moment of this Black Friday’s chaos. As if a grown woman taking something from a child wasn’t bad enough, we have the matter of what it was that she took. I expect this kind of thing when an irresponsible retailer puts $50 flat screen television sets onto the floor at a set time, but we’re talking about a VEGETABLE STEAMER. Worse still, as this child is basically being assaulted for the aforementioned cheesy appliance – people are falling over themselves (or being pushed) to get one too. Is this what we’ve become? Are we really “those” people? Apparently, the answer is yes. One can only imagine what would occur if the economy were to tank and food were to become scarce. If the mob can get this worked up over an appliance they will likely NEVER USE, I can only expect that when it comes to life or death the stakes and the carnage would become ever higher. You people that have it out for guns, think about what it is going to be like trying to protect the ones you love from people like this if we should ever truly face a crisis. There won’t be some great awakening of humanity’s nascent benevolence. Quite to the contrary, it will be pandemonium, and you best be prepared to take care of your own.
For my part, I spent this Black Friday in my office working. The phones were dead – probably because people were either shopping or too bloated to bother to do anything productive with their day. I blew through a pile of paperwork and felt an amazing sense of accomplishment as I left the office, knowing I could go home – turn on my computer and shop without the hassle of dealing with people. My Black Friday was glorious – how about yours?